My Charitable Side

Dear City of Houston,

I wanted to say you are welcome for the $240.10 I sent you yesterday for a stupid traffic violation. I consider it just a gift because seriously, most of the "traffic violations" are just a way for cities to make money. Me going 20 miles over the speed limit really doesn't do any harm whatsoever. I have never been in a wreck because of speed. Actually, me speeding makes me use more gas, which also brings in more revenue. I have given you so much money over the years, I should be getting a building named after me or something. AND, had I not missed my court date, it would have been less, as I would have done defensive driving. So, I figure I am a philanthropist for the money donated to you since I obtained my drivers license at the age of 16. So, Ill take a street, building or sports complex - I would even settle for a bayou.

OR, Ill make a deal, I will drop my efforts to have my name on some city property if you give me a credit for the money I have gifted. This will help cover any future supposed "violations", which we both know are bogus.

So, I will be anticipating your response. I know it will arrive promptly, as my funds have helped to furnish you with fast computers and servers.

Thanks!